Sephiroth's Revenge, and the Pharoah's Danger
by Celtic Guardian 7
Summary: This is a Yu-Gi-Oh-Kingdom Hearts crossover. You can still understand it though, even if you don't play Kingdom Hearts, so I'd be grateful if you try it! However, be careful about spoilers! WARNING: Do not eat or drink while reading this fic.
1. Darkness Approaches

**Sephiroth's**** Revenge, and the Pharaoh's Danger**

Here I go. First stab at posting a fan fic, hope it turns out good! This is a Kingdom Hearts / Yu-Gi-Oh! fan fic. So if you like either, you ought to like this. By the way, _italics _mean that the person is thinking, not saying the phrase out loud. Yugi and Yami Yugi, however, can hear each other's thoughts.

***Chapter 1: Darkness Approaches***

*After school, but still in the building*

Yugi: *Is watching a duel between Tea and Joey*

Yami Yugi: _I sense darkness..._

Yugi: _You said that last Thursday!_

Yami Yugi: _So sue me._

Yugi: _I don't have a lawyer, or else I would!_

*Meanwhile, in the duel…*

Joey: I summon Axe Raider! Nothing can beat him, short of anything beyond 1700 attack. _

Tea: I play Fairy's Gift, with 3 Malevolent Nuzzlers, and attack.

Joey: WHAT?!

Tea: I win again!

Tristen: I told you before; you suck at this game!

Joey: I do not! *Picks up Tristen and throws him out of the window*

Tristen: …Ow…

Yugi: Brutal, but effective. And geez Joey, you lost ten times straight!

Joey: …I thought it was at least twenty?

Yugi: Close enough. _

Tristen: *Gets up painfully* Ow… well, school's over! Let's go to the Gameshop Yugi!

Yugi: Yeah! Grandpa said he just got an invincible, unbeatable, amazing, incredible new monster card! And it's for sale! Let's go see it!

Joey: Now you're talking!

Yugi: Are you deaf? I've been talking for a while… o_O

Joey: _ Never mind.

*After getting Tristen back into the school, they go out the door. A cloaked person walks up*

Joey: Yo!

Tea: "Yo"? Are you an idiot or something? You don't just say, "Yo" to evil cloaked people!

Joey: You JUST realized I am an idiot?

Tea: =/

Yugi: Who are you?

Tea: Gee, that was an original response.

Yugi: So I'm not creative. v_v

???: That is not important... you had best watch yourself, Yugi Motou. Darkness approaches... and you can do nothing to stop it...

Yami Yugi: _Told you._

Yugi: _Thanks for rubbing it in._

Yami Yugi: _Anytime._

???: So prepare to die… MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…*Coughs* Dang it! *Vanishes*

Joey: That… was freaky.

Tristen: You think?

Joey: Actually, I do!

Tristen: -_- Well, let's get going, blissfully ignoring something bad will happen soon!

Everyone: Sure, sounds good!

*They begin to walk to the Gameshop*

Yugi: We're halfway there.

Yami Yugi: _Forget that…it's here!_

Yugi: Huh?!

Joey: Hey guys... the sky... *Points*

*The sky turns dark. Soon it is solid black, except for...*

Yugi: Whoa! An orb... of some sort?

Joey: No kidding! What's going on?

*A high wind starts blowing*

Yugi: Hold on! We're going to be sucked in!

Tea: Gee, you think?!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*They hit the orb and go through*

Yugi: _Damn! Now I can never go out with Tea…_

Yami Yugi: _What a shame._

Yugi: _It is… hey, wait! _*Blacks out*

To be continued…


	2. Another World

From now on, Yami Yugi will be referred to as Yami because I'm lazy. _ If I ever use Yami Bakura or Yami Marik, I'll make changes as fit.

***Chapter 2: Another World?!***

Yugi: *Is knocked out*

*A Dalmatian puppy runs up to him*

Dalmatian Puppy: Yip yip! *Tackles Yugi*

Yugi: AHHHHHHHHH! What the blazing?!

Puppy: *Whimpers, and runs away*

Yugi: Come back! I'm not that scary! _ 

Yami: _I can see you've never looked in a mirror._

Yugi: v_v Wait… why am I caring about that? What the heck happened?! Why am I not dead?!

Yami: _Maybe you are._

Yugi: _Does this look like heaven to you?_

Yami Yugi: _Good point. This isn't exactly hell either._

Yugi: ...-_-;;; Where am I, anyway? This doesn't look like the town of Domino, that's for sure... seems to be an alley of some sort. Out of loss of better ideas, I might as well follow the puppy.

Yami Yugi: _You are aware of how stupid you sound?_

Yugi: And I didn't sound stupid before?

Yami: _Good point. _

*Emerging from the alley, Yugi appears to be in a town square of sorts*

Yugi: Check it out, there's people here!

Yami: _No, really? I could have sworn they were teakettles._

Yugi: I wish they were, I'm thirsty. ;_;

Yami: _You're hopeless… -_-_

Yugi: *Walks up to a woman* Excuse me, but what is this place?

Woman: A world genius.

Yugi: _ I meant, what is it called?

Woman: This is Traverse Town. People who have their worlds destroyed come here because of some freaking god-like force. *Walks off*

Yugi: What? World destroyed? That sucks. I guess we're stuck here. Wait a second… where are the others? Dang! They must have been killed!

Yami: _We're here, aren't we?_

Yugi: Oh yeah! Good, I was hoping Tea made it!

Yami: _Don't you care about Joey and Tristen at all?_

Yugi: No.

Yami: _Meh__, I can see why._

Yugi: Might as well explore. Maybe I can find Tea…

*He walks around and eventually finds a huge door with a man beside it* 

Yugi: Sir? Where does this door lead?

Man: There are 3 districts in this town: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. We are in the 1st. The 2nd is through this door. The 3rd is elsewhere. Not like that matters; you'll die before reaching there.

Yugi: Thanks! *Runs through*

Man: …Didn't he even listen? _

*In the Second District…*

Yugi: Well, this is interesting.

*A man runs by, as though chased, but there is no one else in sight. He suddenly collapses, and his heart is tugged out of his body. The body disappears, but the heart shimmers. A portal of darkness opens, consuming the heart, and a black knight appears. The knight runs off.*

Yugi: What the hell?! I WANTED THAT HEART! ;_;

Yami: _*Sighs*_

*Yugi runs forward, only to have black bug-looking things surround him*

Yugi: Woah! Um… hi guys. Want to be friends?

Yami Yugi: _No they don't!_

*Bugs advance*

Yugi: Fudge. 

To be continued…


	3. Allies and Enemies

I'm glad people like this fic so far. Thanks for reviewing!

***Chapter 3: Allies and Enemies***

Yugi: Well, I can't fight, and I get the feeling these guys don't know how to duel.

Bug: What?! Draw your weapon, and I'll show you!

Yami: _Nope, they're clueless. You do know what you have to do, right?_

Yugi: Yep!

Yami: _You're going to kill them? Really? I've misjudged you…_

Yugi: When did I say I was going to do that? I'm running! *Runs back to the First District*

Yami: _…Darn you._

Yugi: Must… get… to… shelter… *Sees more bug things* Geez, these things are everywhere! Let's see… I don't have any kind of weapon…

Yami: _You couldn't even use one if you had one._

Yugi: Good point. _ There's only one thing to do now. I hate to do this, but I must…

Yami: _And that is?_

Yugi: Suicide is the only option!

Yami: _You idiot… at least die fighting for your pathetic life! =/_

Yugi: o_o Yes sir!

*Suddenly, a bright flash fills the area. When it vanishes, Yugi is left holding a key about the size of a sword.*

Yugi: What just happened? Oh come on! Am I supposed to kill these things with a KEY?! Give me a break!

Yami: _Keep away from my Kit Kat bars!_

Yugi: v_v You watch too much TV. What do you think about this key?

Yami: _I think a dinner plate would have been a better weapon. A key is just pathetic!_

Yugi: …So is a dinner plate.

Yami: _Want to bet? Just watch!_

***FLASHBACK***

*Yami is standing in an Egyptian palace with at least 20 ninjas surrounding him*

Ninja #1: You cannot escape, Pharaoh! You have no weapons, while we have all of our throw able objects! *All the ninjas bring out shrunken, knives, swords, axes, and dictionaries*

Yami: o_O Dictionaries?

Ninja #2: Play Final Fantasy Tactics and fear our power!

Yami: _

***HOLD IT!***

Yugi: How could you have ninjas, dictionaries, and video games back in Ancient Egypt?

Yami: _…We have our ways. __

Yugi: …Er, ok.

Yami: _Now if I may continue…_

***BACK TO THE FLASHBACK***

Ninja #3: It's time for you to die!

Yami: Ah, but there is one problem with your plan. 

Ninja #4: And that would be?

Yami: I AM ARMED! *Brings out a dinner plate*

Ninja #5: …-_-; Riiiight. 

Yami: Just watch! *Throws dinner plate*

*The plate acts like a boomerang, spinning around the whole room and striking down all the ninjas and returning to Yami*

Yami: *Catches plate* Never underestimate the power of a plate!

***END FLASHBACK***

Yugi: o_O

Yami: _So you see, that is why a key pales to a dinner plate._

Yugi: I'll take your word on that. _ 

Yami: _Well, I suppose you might as well use that key and wack some heads…_

Yugi: *Shrugs* Ok. *Hits a Heartless, killing it* O_o Woah, these guys are weak!

Yami: _Too bad we're outnumbered._

Yugi: Well, since I broke their circle, they are not surrounding us anymore. RUN! *Runs and eventually finds a shop* THANK GOODNESS! *Runs inside*

Store Person: Hi, how can I help... another kid? Why don't any normal people ever come? -_-

Yugi: Hey! I happen to be a teenager, you know. And I'm perfectly normal!

Store Person: Well, you look like you're about 8 to me. And if that hair isn't weird, I don't know WHAT is. 

Yugi: Hey, don't mess with my hair! And I am not eight! I'm sixteen! And don't even say anything!

Store Person: Wouldn't dream of it. _

Yugi: I was sucked into some big orb and ended up here! I'm looking for my friends. They're about my age. Have you seen them, manager?

Store Person: Three things.

Yugi: Shoot.

Store Person: *Shoots Yugi*

Yugi: x_X I didn't mean like that…

Store Person: That felt good. Ok, number one: I am NOT Manager. My name is Cid. You will call me Cid. Got it?

Yugi: Sure Manager!

Cid: *Shoots Yugi again* Number two: Are all these kids as short as you?

Yugi: Ow… it hurts… no.

Cid: Number three: You're completely nuts.

Yugi: I love nuts!

Cid: *Sighs*

Yugi: So can you help?

Cid: No. 

Yugi: Ok, then I'm going to look around for them then. Thanks anyway. *Walks off*

Cid: *Shakes head* What a loony.

Moogle: HEY! Why didn't I get to say anything kupo?

Cid: Because you touch yourself at night. 

Moogle: -_- That joke is so old kupo…

*Outside*

Yugi: Whew, those bug things are gone.

???: What, you're looking for them? Don't worry, they'll be back.

Yugi: Huh?

*A man steps out of the shadows*

???: They are attracted to the Keyblade you wield. I have no idea why it would choose a kid like you…

Yugi: Does EVERYONE here think I am a kid?

???: ...Probably. Anyway, hand over the Keyblade. I want to borrow it…

Yugi: You mean steal it.

???: Noooo… _ I mean borrow.

Yugi: You're a thief and child molester! OMGWTH?!

???: Say WHAT?

Yugi: I'll kill you! 

???: -_-;;; Fine, let's do this the hard way… *Draws sword*

To be continued…


	4. Yugi vs ?

I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I guess it's better than nothing. =P

***Chapter 4: Yugi vs. ???***

Yugi: I suddenly realized a problem. I don't know how to fight. _

Yami: _Wimp._

???: Geez, you're even more of a wimp than I thought. -_- *Charges up sword and shoots a fireball out of it*

Yugi: *Gets hit* Wha…? AH! I'M ON FIRE! *Runs around stupidly*

Yami: _-_- Time for me to step in. _

Yugi: YU-GI-OH!

???: o_O Weirdo.

*Yami takes control of Yugi's body and rolls around until the fire is put out*

Yami: How did you do that?

???: This is the rare and powerful Gunblade.

Yami: I like it… a lot.

???: You won't after I beat the stuffing out of you with it.

Yami: *Draws Keyblade* I can't guarantee you'll like this either. *Tries to hit ???*

???: *Dodges and hits Yami over the head*

Yami: @_@ Oooh, the pretty birdies…

???: -_-;;; 

Yami: AH! EVIL BIRDIE! DON'T PECK ME! *Hits ??? with Keyblade*

???: OW! _ *Knocks Yami out* You little…

*A female walks up*

Female: What did I tell you? No cussing, or you'll turn into an old man who smokes like Cid!

???: v_v Yes ma'am.

Female: And he hit you. Where's your macho act now?

???: Shut up. Did you get a hotel room?

Female: Yes.

???: Good. Let's get there. We have some explaining to do.

Female: You mean YOU have some explaining to do. =/

???: v_v 

Yami: *Switches control with Yugi*

Yugi: Wha… OW! *Faints*

???: Did you hear something?

Female: I heard you complaining, but that's it.

???: Must have been my imagination. *Slings Yugi over his shoulder*

Yugi: *Mutters sleepily* Five more minutes…

???: *Hits Yugi* Shut up*

Yugi: X_X

*??? and the female walk to the hotel*

To be continued…


	5. Some Explaining

I've been using some internet language lately, and will be using it. Here's some examples:

OMG=Oh my gosh

WTH=What the heck

PWN=Own

j00=You

f00=Fool (Duh _)

Most of these are obvious, but I just wanted to make that clear. Now let's continue.

***Chapter 5: Some Explaining***

Yugi: *Is knocked out still* But mommy, I didn't eat the last cookie. Al Gore did it.

Female: Who's Al Gore?

???: …

Female: Meh. *Hits Yugi over the head*

Yugi: Ow! Wait… what happened?

Female: You got the heck beaten out of you by him. *Points at ???*

???: It's rude to point.

Yugi: Who are both of you? Female and ??? aren't your names, are they?

Female: I'm the great ninja, Yuffie! *Strikes pose*

Yugi: Uh-huh.

Yuffie: v_v And that's Bob.

???: Quit kidding around.

Yuffie: Oh, I was talking about him. *Points at one of the bug creatures*

???: *Kills it* Continue.

Yuffie: That's Squall.

Squall: The names Leon.

Yuffie: *Sighs*

Yugi: What? You changed names?

Sq…Leon: Yes.

Yugi: Why?

Leon: Because I own.

Yuffie: Actually, he changed his name because he couldn't kill the Heartless.

Leon: …He didn't have to know that.

Yugi: Yes, I did. What are Heartless?

Leon: Those without hearts.

Yugi: Gee, I never would have guessed.

Yuffie: Remember those bug-like things you saw? Those are Heartless.

Leon: They are attracted by the darkness in people's hearts. There is darkness in every person's heart, so everyone is in danger of being devoured.

Yuffie: A little melodramatic, are we?

Leon: Shut up.

Yugi: Oh, what happened to that key thing?

Yuffie: We had to hide it, so that the Heartless wouldn't kill you.

Yugi: *Looks around* You know, under my bed isn't the greatest hiding place in the world.

Yuffie: _ We didn't have much time.

Yugi: So what's the big deal about this key?

Leon: It PWNZ Heartless.

Yuffie: -_- That is a weapon called the Keyblade. The Heartless have great fear of the Keyblade. It is very powerful, and is said to be able to open any lock.

Yugi: OMG, a serious statement!

Yuffie: I want some candy.

Yugi: My happiness is short lived.

Yuffie: Squall had a pretty good summery though.

Sq… Leon: Grrr. =/

Yuffie: ^_^;;;

Yugi: How did I get this Keyblade?

Yuffie: The Keyblade chooses its master. It's rumored to usually people with the heart of pure good, untouched by evil, and with a warrior's courage. 

Yugi: Why the usually?

Yuffie: Unfortunately, you don't fit that description.

Yugi: ;_; Wait… other people have had it?

Yuffie: Well, a friend of ours had it. His name is Sora. But one day, he had to defeat someone called Ansem. After that... well, he vanished. We don't know if he is dead, alive, or what.

Leon: Hopefully dead. _

Yuffie: That's just plain mean… I see your point though. =P

Yugi: So what does the bearer of the Keyblade have to do?

Yuffie: In a nutshell, you go around to various worlds to help kill Heartless and defeat a great evil.

Yugi: Let me get this straight. I'm going to go to different worlds, kill enemies, defeat a very dangerous evil, and save the universe, with a key being my best weapon?

Yuffie: Exactly!

Yugi: Please be kidding me. _

Leon: I know that sounds corny... I thought it did at first. Screw that, I still do. But the Keyblade is actually a powerful weapon. Not as powerful as my Gunblade, of course. _

Yami: _How I know._

Yugi: So what is this great evil?

Yuffie: There is two great evils. The one you are fighting is less of a threat. Too bad we don't know what it is.

Yugi: Er, out of curiosity, what is the other evil?

Yuffie: Hamataro. *Shudders*

Yugi: I see your point. v_v

Leon: Well, let's get a move on. One more thing must be done…

Yuffie: Leon! A Heartless! *Points at the door, where one of those Knight-looking things is*

Leon: Yuffie, back off! He's mine! *Throws the knight outside, into the hall* Come to me! *Jumps after him*

Yuffie: Let's be cowards and run! *Grabs Yugi's arm and drags him outside*

To be continued…


	6. A Pretty Big And Dangerous Machine

Very, very short, but the boss fight comes next! Whee! =P

***Chapter 6: A Pretty Big And Dangerous Machine***

Yugi: But what about Sq… er, Leon?

Leon: *Runs after Heartless* I'm not finished with you yet!

Yuffie: Don't worry; he can take care of himself, except when it comes to cooking.

Yugi: Huh?

Yuffie: Time for a flashback…

***FLASHBACK***

*Yuffie enters a room, which is obviously a kitchen, only to start coughing and gagging on smoke*

Yuffie: SQUALL! WHAT'S GOING ON?!

Sq…Leon: The name's Leon! I was only trying to make those cut-and-bake cookies from Pillsbury… _

Yuffie: _ You are never cooking again. EVER!

Leon: But I like cooking… ;_;

Yuffie: *Grabs a frying pan and starts chasing Leon around* DIE!

***END FLASHBACK***

Yugi: o_O

Yuffie: I once saw him chop a building to bits when he got into this kind of rage though, when fighting. So no need to worry!

Yugi: Ok. _

*They exit the hotel into the alley, only to find more Heartless*

Yugi: Geez, these things are everywhere!

Yuffie: I can kill these. You kill the leader!

Yugi: Why me?

Yuffie: I don't want to break a nail. 

Yugi: -_-

Yuffie: Besides, you have the Keyblade. You can beat it.

Yugi: That's exactly the problem! You expect me to kill a ten-story monster with a KEY?!

Yuffie: Yep! You'll do fine.

Yugi: If you mean I'll be slaughtered, I will.

Yuffie: Just go kill it!

Yugi: Alright, fine. But I demand you pay my medical bill! *Runs through a door that says Second District*

Yugi: Back here again... *Heartless are here too* Drat. *Runs by them and finds another door* Labeled Third District... worth a try! *Opens door and runs inside*

Yugi: It's a ramp.

Yami: _Captain Obvious strikes again!_

Yugi: v_v Well, let's see if there's anything down there... *Walks into the center of the area* No Heartless? That's a first...

*A machine comes down from the sky. It looks like a purple robot with a face covered by a visor. There's a symbol on its chest; a heart broken in four*

Yugi: Ack! That thing is at least as tall as a house! Time to retreat... *Tries to run back the way he came, but is blocked by a barrier that appeared* Oh boy... now I have to fight this thing... *Gets out paper and a pencil* Time to make my will.

To be continued…


	7. Fighting A Ten Story Tall Monster, And Y...

That's right… I'M UPDATING! After about 2 months! I am SO SORRY guys. I have had a very hectic life right now, as my parents divorced, I moved, it took a while to get a computer, and school. If anyone is still reading, thank you for being patient! I will try and update quickly. In case anyone forgot, I left off with Yugi writing his will before facing Guard Armor. Cliffhangers are evil, no? -_^

***Chapter 7: A Fight With A Ten Story Tall Monster, And Yami Yugi's Power***

Yugi: *Is still writing* My cards can go to Tea, my Millennium Puzzle remains for me, and my teddy bear is to be buried with me too!

Yami Yugi: _You sleep with a TEDDY BEAR? _

Yugi: Hey, I can if I want to!

Yami Yugi: -_-;;;

Yugi: Alright, done. *Looks at Guard Armor* Now I die.

Yami Yugi: _You idiot, don't give up that easily!_

Yugi: Its fact: I'll get creamed.

Yami Yugi: _Darn, you're right. *Sigh* I guess I have to help then…_

Yugi: How can you help?

*The Millennium Puzzle glows, then Yami Yugi appears… but Yugi is still there too?*

Yugi: O_O 

Yami Yugi: Much better.

Yugi: HEY! How come you never told me you can do that?!

Yami Yugi: …You didn't know?

Yugi: -_- But you need a weapon.

Yami Yugi: I've already taken care of that. *Draws out Gunblade*

Yugi: How did you get that?

Yami Yugi: I took it when Leon wasn't paying attention. =P

Yugi: Now he's going to kill you. _

Yami Yugi: Forget that for now, because our… friend… wants to kill us.

Yugi: Oh… right.

*Guard Armor finally gets smart in fighting and smacks Yugi into the pool*

Yugi: @_@ 

Yami Yugi: -_- What a wimp… ACK! *Dodges an attack, and slices the arm. The arm explodes* o_O This is better than I thought…

Yugi: *Is dreaming about man-eating killer fishbowls* 

Yami Yugi: DIE!!! *Cuts off other arm, legs, then kills the body* …I like this weapon. 

Guard Armor: *The heart powering it flies out, then it dissolves*

Yami Yugi: VICTORY! 

Yugi: *Is still in the nightmare* *Mutters* But I don't have any cookies… don't eat me…

Yami Yugi: What's with him? *Lays a blow on Yugi. Not knowing how to control the Gunblade though, a fireball comes out and roasts Yugi*

Yami Yugi: o_O Cool… I mean, oops…

Yugi: OW!!! *Runs around like an idiot, then gets smart and jumps into the pool* 

Yami Yugi: Forget liking this weapon… I LOVE this weapon.

*Leon and Yuffie runs in*

Leon: MY GUNBLADE!

Yami Yugi: Mercy! *Runs away from Leon, but gets beaten up and thrown aside* 

Yuffie: o_o Ok… well, good going kid.

Yugi: I'M NOT A KID! And I didn't beat it, Yami Yugi did.

Yuffie: That's beside the point. The point is that toast is great!

Yugi: …That made NO sense.

Yuffie: Good.

Yugi: -_-;;;

Leon: *Comes back with Gunblade* Hey, you… we never got your name, did we? Not like I care anyway…

Yugi: It's Yugi.

Leon: Well, anyway, you're about to get some allies.

Yugi: Yay, I think?

To be continued…

I need some help. Goofy and Donald can't be used because they are with Sora and can't be used. So, any ideas on who I can use? Guidelines: I can use Disney characters (BUT NOT STICH, as I have no idea about what he does. Almost everyone seems to want to add him to Kingdom Hearts, but… anyway…), I can use any Final Fantasy characters, and any Kingdom Hearts characters. Feel free to suggest anything though. If I don't get any good suggestions, I make up characters. I don't think you want Pikachu as an ally, do you? So please review with suggestions, thanks!


	8. New Allies

Thanks to the… one person… that suggested some things. 

Inuyasha? Heard of it, but I have never seen it. _

Link and Harry Potter were pretty good ideas. But use them? Well, you'll see. -_^

***Chapter 8: New Allies***

Leon: Yes, you get allies.

Yugi:  But what if they are fools and don't help us?

Leon: That was Goofy and Donald. They're gone though.

Yugi: Good.

Yuffie: Of course, you're allies could be fools anyway…

Yugi: -_- Darn.

Yami Yugi: Why do we need them?

Leon: …Good question. I have no idea… just drag them along anyway.

Yugi: Fine. Where are they?

Leon: In the hotel, if they haven't run off yet.

Yugi: Er… *Looks around* Where was the hotel again?

Leon: …You passed it in the Second District…

Yugi: …I knew that! *Backtracks*

Yami Yugi: Don't mind him. He can be stupid sometimes.

Leon: Ah, I see.

*They arrive at the hotel*

Yugi: *Rushes inside* ANYONE HERE?!

Yuffie: *Is deafened* Not so loud! *Smacks Yugi*

Yugi: *Collapses*

Yuffie: …

Yami Yugi: Oh, he's also a wimp.

Yuffie: … _

*One of the allies hears the commotion and rushes out*

Leon: Ah, you're here. Taller Yugi…

Yami Yugi: That's Yami Yugi.

Leon: …Whatever. Meet Red XIII.

Yami Yugi: Red X I I I? What kind of stupid name is that? And what kind of animal are you anyway?

Red XIII: Hey, it's not my fault some mad scientist gave me that stupid name! And I don't know HOW you didn't know, but XIII means 13 in Roman Numerals.

Yami Yugi: How was I supposed to know that?

Red XIII: Ever taken history?

Yami Yugi: Never went to school.

Red XIII: o_O You're weird. As for what I am… I don't know… 

Yami Yugi: -_-

Leon: Where did that other guy go?

Red XIII: Oh yeah… him… inside the room still. *Leads them to a room in the hotel*

Yuffie: *Is dragging Yugi's unconscious body* Why is he so heavy? 

Yami Yugi: I'll never know.

 Red XIII: Here we are.

Leon: Ok Yami Yugi… this is Link.

Yami Yugi: Why does everyone here have a weird name here?

Link: Hey! I have a sword you know! *Draws sword*

Yami Yugi: What? I didn't say anything…

Link: Fine. Who is he? *Indicates to Yugi*

Yuffie: Oh yeah, that's Yugi. He needs to hear this… *Slaps him awake*

Yugi: OW! That hurt dammit!

Yuffie: Good.

Yugi: …

Leon: Alright, you people…

Red XIII: And me.

Leon: …and weird-looking red things, here is your job. Yugi, you have to lock every keyhole. There is one in each world. Everyone else, make sure he doesn't die.

Everyone: Got it!

Aerith: *Rushes in* *Sees everyone* I'm late again!

Red XIII: Why are you here? I thought you had died…

Aerith: That's for me to know and you to never figure out.

Red XIII: -_-

Aerith: Well, I see you don't have a weapon. *Points to Yami Yugi*

Yami Yugi: Yeah. 

Aerith: Here, take this. *Throws a sword at Yami Yugi, who catches it… sharp side first*

Yami Yugi: OW! $#@&(!^ %)#@$! …Wait… my words were censored?

Leon: Bad side effect. We can't say anything worse than damn…

Yami Yugi: Why?

Leon: It's a PG Rated fic.

Yami Yugi: Dang it!

*Everyone goes to the World Exit*

Leon: Link knows how to steer. Let him do it. 

Yuffie: Good luck guys!

Aerith: Red, teach them how to use this. *Gives everyone Fire*

Yugi: What?

Aerith: He'll explain. Bye!

Alright! I actually wrote for about half an hour! So, does everyone like the allies? R&R please, like always!


	9. The Road To Wonderland

Finally, back to writing. I'm sorry that I took so long, yet again. I had three delays:

1: Moving to my Grandma's house.

2: Seeing a friend.

3: Getting the original chapter I wrote deleted by my mom. _

So that's my excuse… er, reason. Also, I just now realized that I never wrote a disclaimer. -_-

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Yu-Gi-Oh or Zelda or Leon's Gunblade. I own the plot of the story, and my own life. That's it. 

Now, on with the story!

***Chapter 9: The Road To Wonderland***

Link: Ok, we will be traveling in something called a Gummi Ship. Don't even think about eating it. It's not edible. Stupid name, isn't it? Well, it's the only way to get to the other worlds. So get used to it. Now, it got a little bit messed up on the way here, so it had to be repaired. Let's check on it.

*They arrive to see… something… it's too messed up to make sense of what it is*

Yugi: O_O;;; A LITTLE messed up?

Link: Er…

Yami Yugi: Red, to you know how to steer?

Red: I wish. _

Yugi: -_- How did you get here alive?

Link: You wouldn't understand even if I told you.

Yugi: Ok…

*Two chipmunks run up*

Chipmunk #1: These friends of yours?

Link: They're companions.

Chipmunk #1: I'm Chip, and he's Dale. We repair and look after the Gummi Ships.

Link: I see that the ship isn't ready yet.

Dale: I would love to know what the heck you did to it. 

Link: I only ran into the a bunch of asteroids, some enemy ships, and the two statues outside of the Coliseum.

Chip: -_-

Dale: o_O

Yugi: What Coliseum?

Red: You'll see it later. 

Chip: Come back in tomorrow.

Yugi: Ok.

*They go back to the hotel*

Red: Let's just go to bed.

*The next day…*

Yugi: …It's still night?

Red: I have no idea why it is always night here. It just… is.

Yugi: I had better get used to this weird stuff.

*They are about to be at the port again*

Yami Yugi: Hey guys, I have to go do something, before I forget.

Link: Hurry up.

*Yami Yugi runs off*

Yugi: What is he up to?

Red: He'll probably tell us later. Let's just go to the ship.

*They get to the ship, which looks perfect again*

Red: Impressive. I can actually tell what it is again.

Chip: Please be more careful this time.

Link: But then it's no fun.

Dale: Just don't wreck it again.

*Yugi, Red, and Link get in the ship*

Link: We're all ready. If I press this button, we're off.

Yugi: Where IS Yami? He should be here…

Red: *Looking out the window* There he is. He seems to be in a hurry though…

Yami: *Jumps in* Go, quickly!

Link: Why?

Yami: Just do it!

Link: Whatever.

*As the ship begins to rise, Leon runs up*

Leon: YOU SON OF A %#$*@, GIVE ME BACK MY GUNBLADE!

Yugi: O_O Yami! Did you…?

Yami: *Shows them Gunblade* It was too cool to leave behind!

Yugi: But what if he is killed by Heartless?  
Yami: I left him that sword that Aerith gave me.

*By now, Leon is out of sight, and they are on the course of interspace*

Yugi: But still… Yami…

Link: We have bigger problems now. Let's worry about Leon later.

Yugi: Fine… so… where are we going first?

Red: A place called Wonderland.   
Link: Yeah. We'll be there in about an hour. 

*Asteroids and ships start to appear*

Red: Forgot to mention, the Heartless have ships. They basically try to kill you with them. 

Link: Don't worry! I can easily destroy them!

Yami: Does this ship have lasers or something?

Link: It does. I sometimes use them, but it's also pretty fun to run right into them.

Yugi: WHAT?!

Link: It's alright! This ship is really tough.

Yugi: But… wait a minute!

*Link runs right into an asteroid, then 3 ships. Everyone but him is thrown into the back*

Yugi: Can't you dodge them?!

Link: Nope, I'm not THAT good.

Red: -_- This could be a long flight…

*A very long hour later*

Link: We're here!

*He looks back, only to see everyone else unconscious*

Link: HEY! Get up! We're here!

*They start to stir*

Yugi: O_O We're alive! 

Yami: I guess miracles CAN happen…

Red: Let's disembark, before the ship falls apart. I'm surprised it didn't already. 

Link: -_- Shut up.

To be continued…

Alright, it's done! I have some extra time to thank my reviewers!

Ruki The Digimon Queen: Thanks for staying loyal! You always were one who actually read my pathetic excuses of fan fics!

The Insane Otaku AKA Carefree: 3 reviews! You appear to be consistent at reading new chapters, which I am happy about. Red XIII is in Final Fantasy 7, a very good RPG. Looks kind of like cat/dog crossover, you might say. He can talk though. He is obviously red, has a tattoo that says XIII on it, and has his tail on fire. Look on some search engine for a picture.

Dark Liz: Sephiroth is indeed in Kingdom Hearts. He doesn't play a role in the story though. He's an optional boss. Many people consider him to be the hardest challenge in the entire game.

Sora of Kingdom Hearts: Sora will be in… someday...

Towairaito Zoon: Yes, Kingdom Hearts. Can't help but love it. -_^

Gokea Silverwolf: 3 reviews from you too! Thanks for sticking around!

Fishkisser: If you are considering getting Kingdom Hearts, you might not want to read on. It could have spoilers. If not, or you just don't care, then by all means, keep reading!

Fantasy Gamer: I think you are right. ^_^

Silver2: Thanks for the kind words!

Schizoid-baka: It is supposed to be humor… if you could call this junk humor. -_-;;;

Zera: Thanks for the allies ideas! I hope you like Link being in it.

Angel-of-the-Apocalypse: Yeah, Red XIII rocks! He is one of my favorite characters.

Thank you all of my reviewers! I hope that you enjoy this, and future chapters!


	10. When The Queen Of Hearts Loses Her Tarts

I'm back! *Is almost hit by flying objects suck as a tomato, a rock, and a piano* I'm sorry people! But my computer malfunctioned again! We had to get a new hard drive. And considering that I'm at my grandma's house, the TV is always on at max volume. I'd love to see you try to write with it on. _ Now, I got two reviews to answer to:

The Insane Otuka AKA Caterfree: I 'm glad you liked it. I'm also glad you keep checking your list!

Whispering Hope: Nice SN. I'll be sure to put that, thanks for the suggestion!

One more thing. For those of you who don't know Heartless very well, here is a Heartless guide!

Shadows: Bug-like Heartless. They are very weak.

Soldiers: They look like knights with long red claws. They are pretty wimpy too, but are stronger than Shadows.

Red Nocturnes:  The look kinda like mages, with a hat and a red bell-shaped body. Uses fire balls to attack. They can be very quick and annoying.

Large Bodies: These are very annoying. They are very fat, and look a little like humans. (Bleh) The only way to hurt them is with magic or hitting they're back side.

I'll update you on new ones as they come along.

Now that that's said and done, on with the next chapter!

(Side note: The chapter title is corny. So what? I suck at making them up. -_-)

***Chapter 10: When The Queen Of Hearts Loses Her Tarts***

*They disembark, and begin a long drop*

Yugi: What's up with this?

Red: Don't know. Might as well relax.

Yami: Yeah, no pressure. We might die, but that's not threatening, because the enemies are stronger than us. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

Red: Well, you'll only have a greater chance of dying if you think like that. So keep calm.

Yugi: That's impossible for him to do. But you tried.

*They finally reach the bottom*

Yugi: Now what? 

*A white rabbit runs by*

White Rabbit: I'm late! I'm late! I'm late AGAIN! Why do I ALWAYS have to be late?! WHO SAID I SHOULD ALWAYS BE LATE?! IT'S SO UNFAIR! LIFE IS SO CRUEL!

Everyone: o_O

Red: *Pounces on the rabbit, trapping him* Who the heck are you?

Rabbit: AGAIN, LIFE IS CRUEL! OH WORLD! NOW I SHALL BE EATEN BY A RABID DOG!

Red: I'm not interested in eating you. Just state your name.

Link: Really? I thought you liked eating rabbits and such.

Red: Well… you see… I'm…. er… a vegetarian.

Everyone: *Stares at him* 

Red: So what?! 

Rabbit: I am called the White Rabbit!

Red: You don't have a name?

Rabbit: That is my name! I'M NOT LYING! DON'T KILL ME!

Red: Why are you in such a hurry?

Rabbit: A trial is taking place! I MUST GET THERE, OR I GET MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF!

Link: That's a little harsh.

Rabbit: NO IT ISN'T! ANYTHING THE QUEEN SAYS IS RIGHT!

Yami: He's too weird for my tastes. Just let him go.

Red: Alright. *Lets the rabbit go*

Rabbit: I'M LATE!!! *Runs off*

Yugi: How about we follow him? There's nothing better to do.

Yami: Fine. 

*They arrive in the next room just in time to see a door slam shut*

Yugi: How the heck do we get through there?

Red: We're too big to fit.

Link: Especially you.

Red: -_- Quiet you.

Door: Yes, you are. Now go away, I'm trying to sleep!

Everyone: O_O 

Link: It talks?

Door: Yes, I do. Now shut up. 

Yugi: We have to go through though!

Door: There's another route to where you want to go. Drink one of the bottles, then go through the route you find. And never come back.

Yami: *Looks around* Bottles?

Door: *Makes bottles appear* Now go away. *Falls asleep*

Yugi: Alright then… but what route was he talking about?

Link: Not sure. *Leans against the bed* Woah! *Falls over as the bed disappears into the wall* That hurt. v_v

Yugi: But look! See that hole? That must be the route he meant!

Yami: So we have to drink one of those bottles? How are we supposed to know which one to drink?

Red: *Looks at them* Seeing as this one says Small on it, I'm guessing this one.

Yami: …Oh.

*They all drink the liquid, and grow smaller*

Yugi: Let's get through that hole.

Link: …Not yet.

*Heartless appear. Shadows and Red Nocturnes*

Link: These appear to be weak.

Yami: Allow me. *Using the gunblade, shoots all the Shadows. They die. Then he shoots a Red Nocturne, but when the smoke clears, it's still alive. It retaliates by hitting Yami with a fire ball*

Yami: OW! WTH? That's cheap! How did it live?

Red: I've heard of these Heartless. They're called Red Nocturnes. They absorb fire, like your Gunblade attacks.

Yami: Ugh!

Link: I can deal with them. *Takes out a bow and some arrows*

Yugi: Hey! I thought you had a sword!

Link: I do. I also have many other weapons. *Shoots the Heartless; they die*

Yami: How? I thought normal weapons didn't work well.

Link: Ice arrows are extremely painful to fire creatures.

Yami: I see.

*They go through the hole, only to find a trial is taking place. There is a bunch of cards standing around. Hearts and spades though; no diamonds or clubs.*

Yugi: Huh? Why isn't there any diamonds or clubs?

Yami: The world may never know.

*The rabbit jumps on top of a platform high up and blows a horn*

Rabbit: Court is now in session! 

*The person on trial happens to be…*

Yugi: Tea! Why is SHE on trial?!

Tea: Why the heck am I on trial?

Rabbit: The magnificent Queen Of Hearts, who knows all, will explain!

*I think you know what the Queen Of Hearts looks like. If you don't, think of a complete slob. There, you have her*

Queen: You know what you did!

Tea: If this has something to do with you missing some wine bottles, just know that I didn't do it.

Queen: I don't have any more wine. No, you stole my tarts! AND I WANT THEM BACK!

Tea: o_O I'm allergic to tarts.

Queen: That is completely beside the point! The point is, I want my tarts!

Tea: What, am I supposed to pull them out of thin air? I have no idea where they are.

Queen: Rule 29: If you object, you die! KILL HER CARDS!

Yugi: *Runs up* WAIT A SECOND! SHE DIDN'T DO IT!

Tea: Yugi? What are you doing here?

Yugi: I'd like to know myself.

Queen: Then who did it?

Yugi: Er… _Better just make something up…_ The Heartless!

Queen: Why would they want my tarts?

Yugi: How should we know?

Queen: I won't believe you until you get evidence. You have an hour. If you don't come back in time, you die. If you somehow escape, the girl dies. Now GO GET MY TARTS!

To be continued…


	11. A Traitor, and a Cat to Boot

Greetings! I'm back! Not so long that time, huh? But school is about to start, so I'll be cut on time. Not to mention playing Soul Calibur 2. _ So… yeah… Time to respond to the 3 reviews!

Treekicker: I will read it when I have the time.

The Insane Otuka AKA Caterfree: Yep, tarts. Heck, I like randomness. You're scared? You have reason to be…

Dark Magic Attack: Hey, thanks! I'm glad you liked my other one, and this one. Stay tuned!

I have decided that Bolded Text shall mean that I am narrating. Italics means thinking. 

Let's begin, shall we?

 ***Chapter 11: A Traitor, and a Cat to Boot***

**Our… heroes… if that's what they deserve to be called… have walked into ****Lotus****Forest****. Not wanting to disturb any threats, they are being very quiet.**

Yami: THANKS A LOT YUGI! NOW WE HAVE TO RISK BEING KILLED AGAIN!

Yugi: I'M SORRY,OK?! BUT I HAD AN URGE TO SAVE TEA!

Yami: YOU DORK! YOU ARE BEING SUCH A BIG IDIOT! WE'LL NEVER FIND THOSE STUPID TARTS!

**Ok, maybe not.**

Red: Calm down. We have to try something.

Link: True, but what?

*They arrive in front of a stump*

Yami: *Sighs* It'll never work…

???: Having trouble, are we?

Link: Say what? *Looks around* Ok, who's there?!

Red: *Sniffs ground* I smell a cat.

*Cheshire Cat appears on the tree stump*

Cheshire Cat: I know all.

Red: *Hair rises* A cat! Grrrrr…

Yugi: Can you tell us who stole the Queen's tarts?

Cheshire Cat: Yes.

Yugi: Who did?

Cheshire Cat: I only said I CAN tell you, not that I ever would.

Yugi: _ Darn you.

Red: Grrrrr…

Link: We need to know.

Cheshire Cat: You don't NEED to. You WANT to.

Link: Who are you supposed to be, my Language Arts teacher?

Cheshire Cat: It's in my veins.

Yami: …Hey, wait a minute. How come it says you are the Cheshire Cat when you never told us your name?

Cheshire Cat: …Hm… That will remain untouched. Anyway, the thieves left. You have two options to help the Queen. The first one is to find four pieces of evidence. Or you could be lazy and only get one, two, or three.

Link: And the other option?

Cheshire Cat: That's for me to know and you to never find out.

Red: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *Jumps at Cheshire Cat snarling*

Cheshire Cat: Looks like this is a good time to leave. Toodles! *Vanishes*

Red: CHEAP SKATE! YOU DIE NEXT TIME WE MEET!

Yugi: Well, I guess we might as well look for the evidence. 

Yami: Sure, why not. *Walks forward, and runs straight into Heartless* ….Hi?

Heartless: Roar.

Yami: DIE DIE DIE! *Slices them up* *Does victory pose*

Yugi: o_O; Ok.

*They walk on, and find a pink box*

Yami: A pink box?

Yugi: *Opens it* Footprints? o_O Well, it'll work.

Link: This defies the law of physics. But then again, since when do we listen to the laws of physics?

Red: True that.

*They walk on, and find 3 more evidence boxes* 

Yugi: WTH? I thought these were spread out!

**I'm lazy. You get all 3. **

Yami: What's with the voice?

**Shut up and continue the fic.**

Yami: *Shrugs* Ok. Yay, we have all the evidence!

Cheshire Cat: *Appears* WTH? That's cheap! Fine, here. *Throws Blizzard spell to them* Use that. Be careful though, as you never know what will happen…

Red: *Jumps at Cheshire Cat* GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Cheshire Cat: I'm out! *Vanishes*

Red: I HATE YOU!

*They go back to the court room-like area*

Yugi: We have evidence!

Queen: Show me.

*All 4 boxes are placed in front of her*

Queen: I'm not impressed. Guards, bring forth my evidence!

*10 boxes are mixed in with the other 4*

Yami: WHAT?! You should only have 1!

Queen: Rule 15: The Queen may cheat at any time. Ok, now choose!

Tea:: *In cage* Man, this is lame. -_-;

Yugi: I'll choose. I know which one is ours! *Chooses box, which turns out to be one of theirs*

Queen: What?! How did you know?!

Yugi: I marked the box. _

Queen: ARGH! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! *Chains pop up and wrap around them* I win!

Yugi: Say what? Ok, I'll duel you! 

Yami: Yugi, she doesn't know HOW to duel…

Queen: Fine, I accept! 

Yugi: …Wait, I won't have Yami. Yami, you duel!

Yami: _ Fine.

To be continued… 


	12. A Pointless Duel

*Sighs* School is being such a pain. Updates will be far apart. But when fall break comes… we'll see. ^_^

Whispering Hope: o_O I see. I'm sure Red will get lucky, someday. _

The Insane Otuka AKA Caterfree: Gosh, no offense, but I hate the fact that your name is so long to type out. _ Sorry, I didn't live up to being done soon, but here's what you get. _

Fishkisser: Glad you got Kingdom Hearts. Hope you got far in the month I was being la… er, busy. _

DarkFictionWizard: That isn't good for your health, you know. =P Hope this chapter does the trick though. 

Shall we begin? The end of Wonderland is near!

Everyone: YAY… I mean, oh, that's so sad.

-_- Quiet. v_v

***Chapter 12: A Pointless Duel ***

**Last time, the "heroes" got trapped by the queen. Can Yami defeat her in a duel? Probably not, but it has been proved miracles can happen.**

Queen: *Draws epee* Let us duel!

Yami: …Er, let's play with the cards, so I can send you to the ever-so-frightening Shadow Realm. _

Queen: Rule 1: Whatever I say goes!

Yami: Rule 2: My word overrides yours!

Queen: I'd kill you, but I think I'll defeat you in this card game first for fun.

Yami: Hold on! First, I have to say my classic lines that I hate, but must say anyway! You will lose, if I lose, you get my life, if I win, I kill you, but that's pointless, since I will win, you are a coward and bully, blah blah blah…

Yugi: SHUT UP AND GET US FREE! -_-

Yami: Fine.

Queen: I drew a full house. I win.

Yami: _ No, Duel Monster cards.

Queen: Bah, fine. *Gets out deck* Fear my powers!

Yami: Uh, no.

Queen: I go first, because I say so. 

Queen: I summon Mystic Tomato, and end my turn!

Yami: o_o WTH?

Yugi: Watch out, it must be a darkness deck!

Ansem: You can't steal my deck type! =/

Red: Shut up, you're dead.

Ansem: ;_; *Runs off*

Yami: That card is pathetic! I summon Gamma and attack!

Queen: Hypocrite. 

Yami: _

Queen: I get another Tomato, thanks to his effect! My turn. I play Hamburger Recipe! I sacrifice my Tomato, and Niwatori from my hand, to summon Hungry Burger!

Yami: o_O

Yugi: o_O

Tea: o_O

Red: o_O

Link: o_O

Queen: o_O

Rabbit: o_O

Cards: o_O

George Bush: o_O

Link: Where did HE come from?

George Bush: Um… all your base are belong to us! *Runs*

Yugi: That was completely random.

*Cheshire Cat appears* You don't get it yet, do you? This WHOLE FIC is randomness with a little bit of plot, but hardly any! *Vanishes*  
Red: When I get my paws on him…

Yugi: …What did he mean by a fic? What fic? 

Link: He's off his rocker. 

Tea: *Looks in dictionary* Strange… there is no such word as "fic".

**You never heard that.**

Yugi: That voice again? WHO'S THERE?!

**Nobody.******

Yugi: Oh, ok. Go ahead and keep dueling.

Queen: ANYWAY… my Burger will eat you alive!

Yami: Why even use it?

Queen: Don't you get it? My deck is made of cards that are related to food! 

Yugi: WORST. DECK. EVER.

Queen: You won't think so after this! Eat this! Hungry Burger, attack!

Yami: *Grabs Hungry Burger card and eats it*

Queen: O_O!

Yami: Not bad. Pretty tasty. _

Queen: HOW DARE YOU!

Yami: How dare I. I defeated your strongest monster, and now I win. Sacrifice Gamma for Summoned Skull. Play three Horn Of The Unicorns, and attack you. That's game! And now, the penalty! MIND CRUSH!

Queen: …Nothing happened.

Yami: Dang it. Since I didn't win fairly, it doesn't work. _ Well… release my.. companions…

Queen: Urge to kill… rising… *Releases all but Tea*

Yugi: Release Tea already!

Queen: I can't release someone I don't have, idiot.

Yugi: *Looks* OMG SHE'S GONE!!!

Red: Someone must have kidnapped her while Yami was dueling.

Link: Wow, did you think of that all by yourself?

Red: v_v

Queen: AND I NEVER GOT MY TARTS!

Link: *Suddenly finds a box of Pop Tarts* This what you wanted?

Queen: YES DANG IT! *Takes Pop Tarts and goes back to her throne*

Yami: …YOU JUST FOUND THEM?! 

Link: Well, at least we found Tea… for a little bit. Now what do we do?

Yugi: That dumb cat might know something. I bet he's in the forest.

Yami: How do you know?

Yugi: I don't. We have to start somewhere though. _

Everyone: *Sighs*

To be continued…


	13. A Stupid Looking Boss

Happy Halloween folks! This might come a little bit late, but oh well; it's the thought that counts. _ *Hands everyone reading candy*

I am SICK of Wonderland. I want to get to the Coliseum and mess around with Cloud. *Dodges lamps thrown by Cloud fans* So here is the conclusion of Wonderland. Enjoy, if you can. =/

Oh, and in case I happen to slip up and forget to say anything, this fic is not meant to insult ANY kind of religion, race, opinions, etc. NONE. So hah! =P

Whispering Hope: I know, the card is lame. Thought it would be perfect though. _

DarkFictionWizard: I'm afraid he is. _ I'll be sure to give him credit at the end of this. =P

Mr. Purple-Cat: Don't worry, they'll be doing something better soon. _

Jen The Stampede Mouto: But Squa… Leon's fun to mess with! _ We'll see. _

Western Master: Thanks for the compliment. ^_^

Lara: Really? o_O I thought that part was kind of senseless, and thought about taking it out. Guess I'll keep it! -_^

Enough stalling, let's get to it!

***Chapter 13: What A Stupid Looking Boss***

**Last time, our "heroes" defeated the Queen in a duel (well, Yami did) only to discover that Tea was gone. While almost all of them don't really care, Yugi for some reason insists on finding her. So off the go to ****Lotus****Forest****.******

Yami: Now WHY are we doing this again?

Yugi: Because…

Red: Don't encourage him. The answer will only stall us in this horrid place with evil purple cats.

Yugi: v_v

Yami: You have a point.

*They walk into Lotus Forest*

Yugi: HELLO! ANYONE THERE?!

Shadow: Yep!

Yugi: Besides Heartless. _

Shadow: You racist. *Vanishes*

Cheshire Cat: *Appears* Need help?

Yugi: Yes dang it. Tell us all you know.

Cheshire Cat: The shadows took Tea.

Red: Grrrr.

Yami: No duh Sherlock. Anything else?

Cheshire Cat: The sky is blue.

Red: Grrrrrrrrr.

Link: Learn something new every day.

Yugi: Where is Tea?

Cheshire Cat: In a random, far off evil castle. You can't get there right now, but you should go so you can get ripped apart and killed.

Yugi: …So, in other words, she's still in this forest?

Cheshire Cat: Precisely!

Red: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. 

Yugi: Excellent, where?

Cheshire Cat: Go to a tea party at the back of this forest. There was a boulder blocking it, but for some reason a bird came by, picked it up, and flew off, so now you can get in.

Red: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *Jumps at Cheshire Cat*

Cheshire Cat: *Sighs* This gets old after a while you know. *Vanishes*

Red: *Runs right into a tree* x_X

Yugi: Well, let's go then.

**We'll skip all the glamorous details of their trip. It's nothing to severe, just them talking about coffee, drugs, and staple guns.**

Yami: But it's REALLY fun to shoot people with staple guns!

**Shut up. Anyway, they arrived.**

*They walk into an area with a table and seven chairs. A picture with a rabbit and person with a wacked out hat is over the table. A house is in the background*

Link: Hey, there's no food. ;_;

Yugi: Hey, there's a note by that picture. *Reads* "Have a very unmerry birthday."

Link: But my birthday was two months ago.

Yugi: "Sit down to collect your presents."

Red: Cool. But one of you humans will have to. I can't sit on chairs.

Link: I see you didn't tell us why.

Red: It's none of your concern. _

Yami: I'll do it. *Looks* Let's see, that pink chair at the front looks good enough. *Sits down*

*A cake comes up and explodes. The table vanishes, and dark shapes come out of the cake's remains.*

Yami: Aw #@*$, Heartless.

Yugi: Smooth move Yami. -_-

Red Nocturne: *Licks frosting off itself* That cake was pretty darn good!

Shadow: We're being attacked you dolt!

Red Nocturne: Really?! …I want more cake. ;_;

Shadow: =/

Link: How dull. *Takes out a bomb* I suggest you guys run. _ *Throws bomb at Heartless*

Large Body: *Catches it* Oooh, a Christmas ornament! ^_^

Shadow: Then why is it on fire?

Yugi: RUN!

*They all run into the house and hear an explosion behind them*

Yugi: Whew. o_o;

Red: Let's put it this way… I'm glad you are on our side Link.

Link: -_^

Yugi: AHHHH! WE'RE SIDEWAYS!

Yami: What?

*The room where they had found the talking door was where they were now. But now it was sideways.*

Everyone: o_O

Yugi: I feel the blood rushing to my head…

Yami: Maybe for once you'll say something intelligent because of that. 

Yugi: ;_;

Link: Does anyone else besides me notice those two strange looking lantern things on those tables?

Red: No, why do you ask?

Link: v_v

Cheshire Cat: *Appears* Light up the room to dispel the shadows. 

Yugi: How?

Cheshire Cat: Light the only two objects you can on fire, duh.

Yami: Oh, ok! *Hits Yugi and Red with fireballs*

Yugi: YEOW! HOT HOT HOT! *Runs around like an idiot*

Red: Why do I smell smoke?

Cheshire Cat: -_- Light the stupid lanterns already.

Yami: Why didn't you say so? *Hits both with fireballs, breaking them but setting them on fire*

Cheshire Cat: I'll be back soon. *Vanishes*

Link: Now what?

Yami: We go through that door. *Points at a new door* Hopefully we'll go to where we need to be.

Link: We can't do anywhere while they're on fire. 

Yami: Aw, come on, just let them die. _

Link: I need them to be my shield. _ *Throws water on Yugi and Red*

Yugi: *Pants*

Red: Dang it, now I'm wet! _

*They walk through the door, and find themselves at the Queen's place*

Card (8 of Spades): How did YOU get here?

Yugi: A wizard did it. _

Card: …

*They walk back into the room, this time right-side up*

Yami: WHY did we come here again?

Yugi: Closest place. 

Cheshire Cat: *Appears on top of the big table* Come on up, great view!

*They climb up*

Cheshire Cat: The shadow is coming now. If you live, I'll tell you something else important. If you lose, you die. Any questions?

Red: Can I eat you now?

Cheshire Cat: Bye! *Vanishes*

Red: I'll take that as a no…

*Suddenly, a Heartless appears.*

Yugi: O_O OMG, we're dead.

Link: What the heck IS that thing?

Red: It's obviously a Heartless that looks like its arms were made by taking a thin strip of paper, and bending it a ton of times. Its head looks like a battery with five faces. Its legs are like those bendy things you put together with pins.

Yami: You have one heck of an imagination.

Heartless: I am Trickmaster! Bow down before me!

Link: And mess up my clothes? No way!

Trickmaster: Then die. *Hits Yugi with a juggling stick*

Yugi: …Ow. *Collapses*

Yami: *Sighs* Ok, I'll kill him. *Fires fireballs*

*The juggling sticks light on fire*

Yami: O_O;;; *Gets hit* x_X

Link: Aw nuts. *Gets hit with the other one* X_x

Red: o_o; I have no choice. I must use my Limit Break. COSMO MEMORY!

*A huge orb, as hot and deadly as the sun, comes up and hits Trickmaster full-force, killing him instantly*

Yugi: *Gets up* Wow…

Yami: *Painfully sits up* Ow… 

Link: *Jumps up* Why didn't you ever use that before?! It would have made other battles a snap!

Red: I can only use it every so often. _

Cheshire Cat: *Appears* Congratulations, you lived. Your reward is this very important fact.

Yugi: Yes?

Cheshire Cat: If you are dead, you aren't alive.

Yugi: OMGWTFBBQ! I never knew that!

Cheshire Cat: Not many do. Well, if you want to know about Tea, she isn't here. Have a nice day! *Vanishes*

Yugi: Noooooooooooooooo.

Red: ARGH! I WANTED TO KILL HIM! =/

Doorknob: Hey! You woke me up again! Shut up you idiots! *Yawns*

Yugi: Is it just me, or is there something inside his mouth?

Link: It's just your imagination. 

Yugi: Oh, ok. *Keyblade glows and shoots a beam into the doorknob's mouth* What the?!

Link: Hey, it dropped something. *Picks it up* A Gummi… cool, more things to wreck! ^_^ Let's go back to the ship!

Everyone else: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs*

To be continued…


	14. All This To Be A Hero?

Let us all celebrate! Wonderland is OVER AND DONE! Finally. That was getting boring. -_^ So on to the next world! The Coliseum should take three or four chapters to finish. 

I am sorry for the lack of updates, but I have been concentrating on Teknisk Wereld more often now. _ And I have a cold. Colds suck. _

Jen the stampede Motou: I can stop writing if I want to! *Gets hit with a printer* x_X Ok, maybe not. Cloud and Squall are cool and all, but they are so easy to pick on… _ _ 

Whispering Hope: Tea, one of the princesses? As if. _ I don't plan on that. And the candy is mine. *Runs off with candy*

Mystical Miyuki: Thanks. ^_^

Mr Purple-cat: Thanks for suggesting to do something with the Heartless. Next chapter should have some more junk on them… I hope. =P

Dark Magic Attack: Thanks. And heck yeah! *Points at four tapes with InuYasha recorded* 

Caterfree: Ok, I'll call you that. And yes, randomness will take over the world. I'm just helping it along the way… er, you didn't hear that. 

***Chapter 14: All This To Be A Hero?***

**Now that Wonderland was safe…**

Knight: *Plunges claw into card's body*

Card (4 of Hearts): *Screams in pain and dies*

**…Well, as safe as it could be… our "heroes" finally decide to leave the dratted world. Surprisingly, only one of them seems happy about this though… Or maybe it isn't so surprising.**

Link: Why are you guys scared? I'll get us there in one piece. 

Red: What about last time?

Link: It WAS in one piece.

Yugi: He has a point.

Yami: But it was so horribly mutilated, you couldn't tell what it was.

Link: I'm the only one who knows how to drive, so I'm driving. Any questions? *Takes out bomb*

Everyone else: No sir!

Link: That's what I thought.

*They all board the Gummi ship*

Yugi: So where are we going next?

Link: Well, there are two places we need to go. One is unknown, the other is the Coliseum. 

Yugi: Where have I heard about that before?

Red: Remember what Link said in Tranverse Town? 

***FlASHBACK***

Link: I only ran into a bunch of asteroids, some enemy ships, and the two statues outside of the Coliseum.

Chip: -_-

Dale: o_O

Yugi: What Coliseum?

Red: You will see later.

***END FLASHBACK***

Yugi: Oh, that's right! Hey, wait… oh gosh… *Goes pale*

Link: Yep, those statues are still big targets. ^_^

Everyone else: O_O;;;

Link: Off we go! *Starts the Gummi ship*

Red: I'm considering jumping off right now into space; I'd have a bigger chance of surviving.

Link: The doors lock automatically for safety measures. ^_^

Red: More like danger measures! _

*Two hours later…*

Link: *In perfect health* I can see the Coliseum!

Red: *Battered up badly* Am I dreaming? Don't wake me up, this is too wonderful…

Yami: *Almost dead* You aren't, or else I'd go insane.

Red: You're already insane.

Yami: Oh, that's right. I forgot.

Yugi: *You can imagine* X_X

Link: See, there are the two statues. =)

Red: WAIT! DON'T DO…

*CRASH!*

*BANG!*

*SLAM!*

Red: …it…

Link: *Hops out, unharmed* That was too much fun! ^_^ o_O What's wrong with you guys?

Everyone else: *Out cold*

Link: *Grabs bucket of water and throws it over them* Get up already!

Red: COLD! ;_;

Yugi: *Checks deck* Whew, the water barely missed it.

Yami: MY HAIR! =/

Link: _ *Runs*

Yami: *Takes out Gunblade and runs after* DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Red: o_o; He's protective of his hair.

Yugi: It's something that me and him share in common. _

Red: Ah…

*An hour later…*

Red: *Tackles Yami* CALM DOWN!

Yami: NEVER!

Yugi: …For me? ^_^

Yami: Cuteness sucks…Fine. v_v *Puts away Gunblade*

Link: *Walks back to them* Well, now what?

Red: We go inside that HUGE building?

Yugi: That works. 

*They all go inside*

*Inside the building, there is a big, empty area in the center of the place. The two statues stand right in front of a door to get inside a smaller building. There are three tapestries on each side of the doorway they just came through. There is also a LOT of torches lit.*

Yami: This is boring. Let's go inside.

*They walk into the building to see a poster, a big block, a treasure chest, more torches, and another… creature…*

Yugi: *Whispering* What the heck is that?

Red: I believe it is a cross between a goat and a man.

Yugi: I'll buy that.

Goat Guy: *Without turning around* Hey, whoever entered, move that stupid block over there!

Yugi: Ok. *Pushes block out of the way easily* What next?

Goat Guy: *Looks at them* How the hell did you move that block? *Looks at it* …Styrofoam?! _ It said it would weigh at least 3000 tons! Stupid rip offs… *Replaces block* Now move that.

Yugi: *Tries, cannot move it* *Gets out oil*

Goat Guy: No outside help.

Yugi: *Puts it away* It's too heavy for me.

Goat Guy: Then you're a wimp. 

Yami: As if we didn't know that.

Yugi: ;_;

Goat Guy: Why the heck are you guys here if you can't even move that?

Yami: Mind explaining what this place is?

Goat Guy: The Coliseum, home of heroes! If you aren't heroes, get out of here.

Link: Hey! I'm in over twenty video games, and in every one, I'm the hero!

Goat Guy: …Well, the rest of you aren't heroes!

Yugi: I'm the hero of Yu-Gi-Oh.

Yami: As am I.

Red: I'm one of the co-heroes in Final Fantasy VII.

Goat Guy: Ok, screw this. *Writes in book* Rule #1952: You need a Hero's License to get in.

Yugi: You just wrote that in your book.

Goat Guy: You saw nothing. _ Go get a License, NOW! And even though nobody cares, my name is Phil.

Yami: Short for pedophile?

Phil: WHY does everyone assume I am a child molester?! _ GET OUT!

*They leave*

Yugi: That guy sucks.

Yami: *Ponders* I wonder if Phil really is short for pedophile…

*A man appears*

Man: You want to play in the games?

Yugi: …Why is your hair on fire?

Man: It is?! WHAT?! *Grabs bucket and flings it over head* …Wait… my hair IS FIRE YOU IDIOT!

Yugi: Excuse me for stating something you could have easily corrected.

Man: Shut up. Now, I am called Hades, and my goal is world domination. I have a Hero's License I will give you. Interested?

Red: *Is asleep*

Hades: -_- *Hands Yugi Hero's License* Now get in the games so you can die already. 

Yugi: Ok! *They all run back inside*

Hades: …This is too easy.

*Back inside*

Phil: HOW did you get that?

Yugi: Some evil guy gave it to me. 

Phil: Alright.

Link: Explain how a piece of paper makes us heroes.

Phil: Um… er… I'll get to you on that later. Now, to prove that you are heroes, you must destroy a bunch of barrels in a time limit. 

*He leads them outside to a barrel course*

Phil: Destroy them all in under three seconds. Go.

Yami: *Sweeps Gunblade, shooting all of the barrels with fire, destroying them all* Do we pass?

Phil: _ I give up… ok, you guys can play in the Preliminaries. 

Yugi: When do we do that?

Phil: In ten minutes. Go get ready. Oh, and I'm also going to give you this Thunder spell because I can.

Link: I can't even pretend to be excited.

Phil: Just go get ready dang it.

To be continued…


	15. A Lucky Error

Two updates in a row? That's right. Go winter break. ^_^ 

Whispering Hope: Thanks! o_O What, the candy is that important? *Throws Snicker's bars at you*

Yami's Fan: Thanks! And I should hope it is stupid-that's the point! =P

***Chapter 15: A Lucky Error***

Red: Ok, here is our battle plan. Link can destroy the enemies that fly with his bow and arrows, I can destroy the enemies on the ground. Yami can do either, and Yugi can sit around and do nothing. Sound good?

Yami: Yugi can be my shield. Besides that, good plan.

Yugi: …v_v

Phil: It's been ten minutes! Now get out there!

*They walk out into the battle arena. The opponents arrive*

Yami: Only Shadow heartless? This is too pathetic.

Shadow Leader: Oh yeah? Come on boys! Let's show them why we rule!

All the Shadows: Prepare for trouble, 

And make it double.

To devour the world by devastation, 

To kill all of the people within our nation.

To have all emotions evil, but no love,

To concur everything, including the stars above.

Heartless, killing at the speed of light,

You cannot surrender, for you will die in this fight.

Shadow Leader: That's right!

Nitendo: Time to sue.

Yami: …no. Just no. *Shoots all of the Shadows*

Link: …And you said we aren't heroes.

Phil: Why did I let those guys sign up anyway? *Looks at clipboard* Screw that… why did I let everyone but the last person on my list sign up? 

Yami: Who knows, who cares, who's next?

Phil: You, dog thing, go inside and tell the wimps in there to get out here.

Red: I'm not a "dog thing". Call me that again, and you will meet my teeth in a painful way. *Runs off*

Yugi: *Looks at a man approaching* Who's that guy?

*The man has blond, spiky hair, and blue eyes. He wears a red, battered cape. One of his hands appears to be a claw. He casts a quick look at them before walking off.*

Yami: …Ok… that was interesting.

Phil: He's the only good person that signed up. You'll see what I mean.

Red: *Is back* The next fight is ready.

*One by one, the Heartless all fell*

Phil: Hey, wait a second. Why are we skipping the fights?

**Because I'm lazy.**** Deal with it.**

*Meanwhile, the little party was being watched… Dun dun dun*

Man they saw earlier: Ok, now tell me again why you want me to beat that wimp.

Hades: That kid has the Keyblade, and for some reason, that makes all the Heartless run screaming. I don't want to waste my time on him, so you kill him.

Man: …Or are you just scared you will be beaten by those others?

Hades: Uh, no. Ok, here's the plan: you kill them all. Then I will fulfill my end of the bargain.

Man: Whatever.

Squ… I mean Leon: *Runs in and smacks the man with a coat hanger* That's my line! *Runs off again*

Man: …*Walks off*

Hades: Let's see… if he wins, my pet will kill him. If he loses, my pet will kill him and everyone else anyway. Win-win situation, as long as nothing too random happens.

*Santa Claus rides by in a Ferrari, singing Let the Bodies Hit the Floor through a megaphone while throwing telephones at people*

Hades: …Better make a plan B.

*Back at the arena…*

Phil: Ok, you are on the last round! Your opponent is called, according to my clipboard, "N/A." Weird name… anyway, here he is.

*The man steps into the area to face them*

Red: o_o Cloud? What the heck are you doing here?

Cloud: o_O Red XIII? Why are you hanging around with a kid that has the most gravity-defying hair ever?

Yugi: Look who's talking.

Red: My contract told me to. What about you?

Cloud: I have a specific reason, unlike you. 

Phil: You know, the fight has started.

Yami: *Gets out Gunblade* Fine by me. *Runs at Cloud and tries to hit him with the blade*

Cloud: *Draws a HUGE sword that is covered with white bandages and blocks blade*

Yami: O_O; What the heck is that?

Cloud: My Buster Sword. *Blocks incoming strikes and slams sword on Yami's head*

Yami: x_x

Link: Oh, goody. *Takes out a sword and dashes at Cloud* Someone get him while he's distracted!

Red: Uh… ok. *Jumps at Cloud*

Cloud: *Waits until the two are almost on him before moving. They slam into each other*

Red: …Ow…

Link: Well, that sucked.

Yugi: Oh, great. I guess I have to help. *Charges at Cloud*

Cloud: *Steps aside neatly* What a nitwit. 

Link: *Tries to slash him again, only to get blocked* 

Yugi: I'll try this again… *begins to run at Cloud again*

Cloud: _When he is close enough, I'll just step out of the way again…_

*Yugi is about half way there when he trips and falls over Red, who was trying to get out of the way after being struck down. The Keyblade goes sailing out of his hand and hits Cloud's back with a pretty ugly-sounding slam. While he is distracted, Link hits him in the stomach. When he falls forward, Link puts his sword to Cloud's neck.*

Link: We win. Surrender or die.

Cloud: …How the hell did that happen? _ Fine, you win.

Hades: *Shakes head* That was just sad. Alright, I guess I will have to unleash my pet now.

Yami: *Is out of unconsciousness* We won? But I didn't get to hurt him… 

Yugi: *Gets up painfully* That was awesome…

Red: Yugi is the reason we won? The apocalypse must be happening.

*Suddenly, a huge, black beast runs outside, snarling. It looks like a huge dog with three heads*

Yami: O_O Holy… ****…

Red: We're screwed.

Yugi: *Fainted*

Link: …We have two choices. Die, or run. I choose run. *Runs*

Yami: *Grabs Yugi* First smart thing I've heard you say. *Runs*

Red: *Grabs Cloud and pulls him along*

*Another man arrives*

Phil: OMG, it's Hercules! You're on your own for this one. *Runs*

Hercules: -_- *Starts battling the dog*

Hades: …Why am I still here? *Teleports away*

*Inside the building*

Yugi: We're so going to die.

Yami: *Sings the Genocide song*

Phil: Yeah, I wouldn't put all of my faith into Hercules. v_v Any of you up to fighting it?

Everyone: No.

Phil: That's what I thought.

To be continued…

Author's note: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor is just a song that I thought of off the top of my head. You want to know about it? Use a search engine. _


	16. My Light Has Vanished

DELAYED! Yep, that's the word. I was sick THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT! ;_; Oh well, I'm over it now.

I spent a LOT of my time watching Inuyasha CDs. I am so tempted to throw him in this twisted tale now…

Inuyasha: o_o *Runs*

Oops, shouldn't have said that. _ Ah well, I'll get him later. Anyway, homework also delayed me, and my other fic which most people don't care about, but I do. Yeah, I'm self advertising, and I'm dang proud of it! *Gets shot* X_X

The Coliseum ends now, which sucks. I liked writing this part. ;_; Ah well, it's not like this will be the last time here. ^_^

Whispering Hope: o_O O_o Now remind me what muses are supposed to do? _ And your welcome for the chocolate… _

Female-Yami/Yugi: Oh, did I ever mention I am an authoress? _ Well, you know now. And yes, that equation IS good. 

Mr. Purple-cat: Beat up Yami? He's one of my favorite Yu-Gi-Oh characters! _ Well, as you will soon see, he is about to get another maniacal advantage. Joy.

Jen the stampede Motou: May I just call you Jen? _ And I can stop any darn time I want to. *Gets flattened with an anvil* …Ow… guess not. And what on earth is Squall talking about? *Throws sugar bag at you* Sugar is too good to keep out of!

Supersonic11: I'm glad you like the fic. Yes, I changed the rating, but in all honesty, I'm not sure WHAT rating it should be on. v_v I will change the chapter later if I keep it as a PG-13 fic. Oh, and don't you dare diss dinner plates! *Knocks out teachers with a dinner plate*

Dark Magic Attack: You'll never get them! *Locks tapes in safe* About your second comment… *Quickly fixes error* What do you mean I spelled Nintendo wrong? _

Krimson: Dictionary? o_o; Eep. But yeah, dinner plates just own as weapons. =P And Vash the Stampede? o_o; I never thought of it, but the description DOES match… it must be fate! My fic is telling me I must put Vash the Stampede in somewhere! OMG! _

***Chapter 16: My Light Has Vanished***

**Last time, Hades somehow transported Cerberus to the Coliseum, and began killing Hercules! So what did our "heroes" do? They did what any sensible hero would do-they ran.**

Phil: As much as I would like to see Hercules die, if you want to live, I suggest we do something about that dog.

Yugi: I don't see you charging into battle.

Phil: I don't see you doing that either.

Yugi: But I know I'm a coward. You, on the other hand, are trying to deny it.

Phil: Deny what? _ I'm not denying anything. I'm strong, and smart, and cool.

Yami: You're lying. It's friggen' hot in here! How can you be cool in a place without air conditioning?

Phil: Damn you and your great word skills! _

Ninja: *Appears* Technical Words no Jutsu! *Throws dictionary at Phil*

Phil: *Gets hit on the head, and is knocked out*

Yugi: The randomness, it hurts!

Ninja: Which is why he should be thankful I knocked him out… he is saved from the author's corny jokes.

Red: And you are still here?

Ninja: Good point. Ninja… AWAY! *Vanishes*

Everyone: …Right…

Link: *Hears screaming* Better him than us.

Cloud: So true.

Yugi: Aren't you supposed to save him? You are a hero.

Cloud: My first priority is staying alive. If I can save someone without harming myself, I'll do it.

Yami: Wise words.

Link: Since when would YOU save someone?

Yami: I wouldn't. That would require effort on my part.

Link: That quote is too good. You must have stolen it from someone.

Yami: Yes, I'm also a plagiarist. So sue me.

Link: *Sues and wins* Now hand over your most valuable item.

Yami: =/ *Hands over pink key ring* ;_;

Link: ^_^

Yugi: This is nice and everything, but… it's also boring. We need to advance the plot!

Red: Plot? What plot? This thing has a PLOT? What have you been smoking, and where can I get some?

Yugi: Marijuana, you can't have any, and you have a point. Either way, we have a killer dog breathing down our necks, and it isn't going to sit around waiting for us to finish talking.

*Outside*

Cerberus: *Looks at Hercules' mangled body while waiting patiently for the others to come outside*

*Inside*

Yami: Well, I have a plan. I just need to visit the grocery store. Be right back. *Runs off*

Cloud: …Ok…

Yami: *Runs in after about five minutes* Ok, I'm ready now. 

Yugi: …Why did you leave?

Yami: You'll see soon.

Phil: *Wakes up* …NO! I was supposed to stay unconscious! Now I'm back in this nightmare! _

Yami: *Points and laughs*

Phil: Quiet you! You actually have to stay here for the whole fic, unlike me!

Yami: But unlike you, I get a cool weapon.

Phil: Well, yeah, but… I hate you!

Yami: You just realized this?

Phil: …No.

*They all walk outside, and see Cerberus, who is sitting, looking at Hercules*

Red: You do realize that we are screwed.

Cloud: I can kill him in one blow.

Yami: No way! This guy is going to be my pet killing machine.

Yugi: Maybe you could explain HOW you are going to get him to listen to you?

Yami: Simple, watch. *Walks over to Cerberus, and whistles* Here boy!

Cerberus: *Growls*

Yami: *Takes out box of dog biscuits*

Cerberus: O_O *Whines, and barks, drooling*

Yami: You can have these on one condition. You promise to be my loyal vassal afterwards.

Cerberus: *Barks, nodding all three heads*

Yami: Well, that was easy enough. *Throws Cerberus the whole box*

*Cerberus' three heads fight over the biscuits*

Link: …I'm not even going to comment.

Yugi: You just did.

Link: Besides this comment, and that one.

Red: My IQ has just dropped… by a lot, let me assure you.

Yami: Your IQ can be lower?

Red: -_-

Phil: Shouldn't you be helping Hercules?

Yugi: He's alive?

Phil: Yes.

Yami: Cool, then I can kill him!

Phil: No, you have to leave him alive! For some important reason. _

Yami: You're right. I'll leave him alive… but not you. Cerberus! This is your first command from your new master! Kill him!

Phil: o_o

Cerberus: *Licks chops*

Phil: Before I leave… you guys are all jr. heroes. For… stopping that beast from… killing everyone… yeah. *Runs, screaming*

Yami: I'm sure. Anyway… how am I going to get my pet onto the Gummy Ship?

Cerberus: v_v

Red: Teleport him to Traverse Town?

Yami: You can do that?

Red: If Cloud and I use our magic together, sure.

Yami: Then that'll do. No killing anyone yet Cerberus. Don't worry, I'll be back soon so we can do it together.

Cerberus: ^_^ *Is teleported away*

*The others are walking toward the Gummy Ship*

Yami: That takes care of that… so, Sky.

Cloud: The heck? My name is Cloud.

A random bird that is in hearing range: AHHHHHH! THE IDIOCY! IT'S TOO MUCH! *Slams headfirst into the ground, and dies* 

Bird's Ghost: Yay! Freedom! *Flies to bird heaven* JOY! BLISS!

Yami: Whatever your name is… why on earth were you helping fire boy?

Cloud: I am looking for something. Hades promised to help. 

Yugi: What is this… something?

Cloud: I fell into the darkness, and lost sight of my light, because my damn flashlight batteries died!

Link: GASP.

Cloud: I knew I should have bought Energizer! _

Yami: So, did Hades help you?

Cloud: He betrayed me! So now I'm still stuck with a useless hunk of plastic! And the light bulb. 

Yugi: That's unforgivable! I'll have to defeat him in a duel! Don't worry! I'll get your batteries!

Hercules: Just act dead, just act dead, it'll be over soon… so I can be free from this place!

*At door*

Cloud: I'm staying here for a while. When I see Hades again, I'll kill him, and get those batteries. Anyway, later.

Everyone but Yami: Bye.

Yami: *As he watches Cloud leave* I need to do something. Get the ship ready, I'll be right back. *Runs after him. They are soon out of sight*

Link: I get a bad feeling about this.  
Red: I get a worse feeling. Because now we have to be in the ship again! _

Link: Yep! ^_^

*Link starts the ship, and waits for Yami. Suddenly, Yami runs into view, and jumps into the ship*

Yami: No time to waste. Let's go!

Link: …Uh, ok. *Flies away from the Coliseum* So what was that about?

Yami: I have a new, cool weapon.

Yugi: *Slaps hand over his eyes* Oh no…

Yami: *Shows everyone Buster Sword* Oh yes! =)

Red: -_- Cloud's going to skin you alive.

Yami: *Shrugs* He can't do much without his sword. _

*In the Coliseum*

Cloud: Urge to kill… rising.

*Further in the Coliseum*

Hades: NOOOOOO! My perfect plan FAILED! DARN YOU RANDOMNESS! I WILL WIN!

Maleficent: Why is this my first appearance in the fic? I should have shown up three chapters ago! =/ Anyway… why are you talking to yourself?

Hades: Aw shut up. I don't see YOU killing them!

Maleficent: Because I'm lazy, so I send lackeys to do my work. Anyway, I'm off. *Teleports away*

*Even further in the Coliseum*

Phil: *Pants heavily* I lived! Yayness!

*EVEN FURTHER in the Coliseum*

Hercules: I'm still alive! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*In Traverse Town*

Cid: I HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE LAST TEN ******* CHAPTERS!

**I just added that comment. Happy?**

Cid: No! I want to be in the plot!

**Too bad.******

*Further in Traverse Town*

Squ… er, Leon: I am going to KILL that bastard. I just need to find a way to follow him… *Notices portal opening above* What the…

*Cerberus lands on him*

Voice from underneath Cerberus: Ow…

*In the North Pole*

Santa Claus: I'm already out of this fic! 

**My apologies.******

*In Wonderland*

Cheshire Cat: Why did you come here? The chapter is over.

**Oh. Right.**

To be continued…


	17. What Language Are We Speaking?

I'm really sorry about delays. I just got so carried away with my other fic… ^_^;;;

Ugh. I hate the jungle. Oh well, it needs to be taken care of. 

Anime-Blade: Yay! Someone else thinks this is stupid and funny! _

Female-Yami/Yugi: I need to put a disclaimer, so I'll do so now: Any injuries you acquire when reading this fic is not my fault. _

Whispering Hope: Odd is an understatement. _ And… um, thanks for the batteries? 

LunaticChaos: Nooooo! I copyrighted the name Randomness! v_v

Supersonic11: I'm officially scared. 

Cute lil Yami: Thanks for the compliments. ^_^ 

Jen the stampede Motou: …Not going to ask… _

clouds are yummy: …Interesting username. =P Sora might be in this, or he might not. You'll have to keep reading to find out!

Ok, two more Heartless profiles!

Powderwild: Weird, blue monkey Heartless that slide all over the place. Their claws are quite painful to experience, and they move fast enough to be quite an annoyance. 

Bouncywild:  These things… are weird. They look like monkeys too, but with a pink bow in their hair, it seems more female. They throw projectiles that appear to be rocks, and also leave banana peels lying around… don't even ask. _

Now, let's begin the chapter!

***Chapter 17: What Language Are We Speaking?***

**Since it as been forever and a week since an update has come, here's what happened last time. Cerberus was tamed and is now in Traverse Town, and Cloud is left without a Buster Sword. Where will our 'hero's' go now?**

Cloud: Hopefully back here, so I can kill that son of a…

**Quit acting so vulgar-that's Cid's job.**

Cid: HEY!

**Don't try to deny it. But enough of this-back to the Gummi Ship.**

*Two hours after leaving*

Link: Hey! I finally found the new world!

Everyone else: REALLY?!

Link: April Fools!

Yugi: You're one day late.

Link: Aw shut up. It's not MY fault the author was too lazy to update yesterday!

Yami: Actually, it is all your fault. Since you just happened to cut off her internet connection in some completely ridiculous manner, she couldn't update.

Link: …Then how do you explain THAT? *Points at update in other fic*

Yami: Well, you have a point… ok, it's still your fault, because I say so.

Link: Should have known you would say something like that. You hate everything, and everyone, don't you?

Yami: Nah. I love myself. And my Gunblade and Buster Sword.

Link: I'm not going there. *Looks out of the window* Whoa my gosh! The world!

Yugi: We're not falling for that again.

Link: No, really! Look! *Points at world with a bunch of trees, a waterfall, and a huge tree house with a row boat held in midair by ropes*

Yugi: A jungle? But bugs scare me. ;_;

Link: Is there anything that doesn't? Anyway, we need to be careful landing. Everyone shut up, so I can concentrate.

Yugi: *Looks at control panel* Hey, what does that big, red button that says 'Don't Push' do?

Link: It blows up the entire ship. Don't push it.

Yami: Hm… *Pushes it* Whoops, slip of the hand.

*The entire ship blows up*

Yugi: Why must my alter-ego always want to cause destruction? *Crashes through tree house roof* OW! That hurt, dang it! Ok, for some reason, I get the feeling I'm being watched. Wonder why.

*Leopard jumps down from roof and lunges and Yugi*

Yugi: This'll be easy! *Brings up Keyblade to defend himself*

Leopard: …-_- *Grabs Keyblade in teeth and throws it aside*

Yugi: Well, I'm screwed.

*A spear-wielding guy leaps down and punches the leopard. With a whimper, it jumps through a window. From outside, they hear…*

Leopard: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (Translation: OW! I'M BLEEDING AND DYING! JUMPING THROUGH WINDOWS IS NOT SMART! WHY DID I DO THAT?! YEOW!)

*Leopard jumps off the tree the tree house is on*

Yugi: Hm… I wonder what he was saying. *Turns to other guy* Thanks for saving me. Who are you?

Spear-wielding guy: Ymay amenay isway Tarzan. Iway inkthay at'sthay owhay ouyay 

aysay itway inway Englishway. (Translation: My name is Tarzan. I think that's how you say it in English.)__

Yugi: …What the heck is this guy saying? Ok, just tell me your name.

Tarzan: …Tarzan?

Yugi: Ok, Tarzan. You people have the weirdest names… then again, Yugi isn't exactly the coolest name ever. It just means game, or some junk like that. Ah well. Tarzan, have you by any chance seen a psycho that looks like me, a red cat-dog thing with a tail on fire, and a boy who wears green?

Tarzan: Away intway, away atcay-ogday, andway away eprechaunlay? Openay. (Translation: A twin, a cat-dog, and a leprechaun? Nope.)

Yugi: ARGH! JUST ANSWER YES OR NO!

Tarzan: …Yesno?

Yugi: …I give up. *Leaves cabin*

Tarzan: Atthay id'skay eirdway. (Translation: That kid's weird.) *Follows*

*****

*Elsewhere, in a thicket of bamboo*

Link: Ok, when I get my hands on Yami, I'm going to throttle him! That moron!

Red: What's the big deal? We're only marooned on some strange jungle that might contain rabid monkeys that have poisonous teeth.

Bouncywild: Aw shoot. They caught me! But one day, I shall strike from the darkness, for I am…

Ninja: That's MY job! *Kills the Bouncywild with a throwing star* Stealth and silence- I'm so awesome.

Red: You know, we saw that whole show.

Ninja: But I'm supposed to be invisible. Oh well. Ninja AWAY! *Vanishes*

Link: I'll never figure that guy out.

Red: Same here. *Looks around and comes face to face with a gorilla* Um… hi?

Gorilla: O_O *Runs away*

Link: I don't blame it, after seeing your face that close up!

Red: -_- *Sees a colored block* Hey look… isn't that a Gummi piece?

Link: Probably one of the pieces of the blown-up Gummi ship.

Red: WHY did you install a self-destruct button?

Link: I didn't-it came that way.

Red: Lucky us.

*A man suddenly steps out of the bamboo, carrying a rifle*

Man: …Where did these weirdos come from? _Whoa! That red thing's fur must be worth a lot! Forget the gorillas-I'm skinning him! Or I could just be even eviler and just take both. Yeah, that's better._

*****

*Elsewhere, in the campsite, a woman in a yellow dress is doing an experiment*

Woman: Ok, I put a Potion into this pot and ice it, it should become two Ethers. What kind of screwed up logic is this? But if it works, I'm game. *Stirs up the creation and pours it into a bottle* …It's still just a Potion. *Sets cookbook on fire* I knew I couldn't trust Martha Stewart, after she got arrested!

*She goes into her tent, and comes back out with a projector*

Woman: I'm taking slides of this messed up experiment. Then I can sue Martha Stewart and get a ton of money, even though she's already in jail.

*She walks over to the other side of the camp to find a new slide. As she does so, Yami comes flying down from the sky and crashes into her projector, breaking it*

Woman: …You owe me $500.

Yami: Damn it.

*****  
*In the jungle*

Yugi: Which way are we supposed to go now?

Tarzan: *Grabs Yugi's arm and pulls him into a tree stump. They land on a branch and began to tree-surf*

Yugi: Whoa! What's going on?! I'm not good at things like this you know!

Tarzan: Ownay ouyay elltay emay... (Translation: Now you tell me...)

*Yugi falls off the branch. With a sigh, Tarzan follows*

*****

*Back at the campsite, the revolver-carrying man walks in, with Link and Red*

Yami: Aw man. You guys lived?

Link: Yes, no thanks to you! You're going to be begging for death when I'm done with you! 

*The argument is slightly distracted when Yugi comes flying down, crashing into the tent*

Woman: Not again… you owe me $1000.

Yugi: ;_; Yes ma'am.

*Tarzan comes leaping down*

Woman: Tarzan! You found this kid?

Tarzan: Esyay. (Translation: Yes)

Woman: I see.

Yami: Who are all of you?

Woman: I'm Jane, the one with the rifle and the stupid mustache is Clayton…

Clayton: I'm insulted. Really, I am.

Jane: And the other guy is Tarzan.

Yugi: I can't understand a word he says.

Jane: That's because he speaks in Pig Latin.

Yugi: …Pig Latin?

Link: Now I've seen it all.

Jane: He was abandoned in this jungle when his parents were killed, and grew up with the gorillas. For some weird reason, instead of learning gorilla, he learned Pig Latin.

Red: Go figure.

Jane: Wow, even your cat speaks English.

Red: I'm not a cat! And I'm African.

Yugi: I'm Japanese.

Yami: I'm Egyptian.

Link: I'm Australian.

Yami: What the hell?

Link: _

Jane: I'm French, as is Clayton.

Gorilla: I'm Portuguese.

Clayton: That's nice… whoa, a gorilla!

Gorilla: Whoops, busted. *Runs away*

Clayton: v_v

Link: Well, we have to go and find the pieces to our blown up ship. See you all later.

Jane: You all still owe me $1500.

Yami: Send the bill to Cid. He will pay for it.

Jane: Alright, will do.

*They go to the lagoon and see a ton of hippos*

Yugi: How are we supposed to cross this?

Red: By jumping. *Jumps over the backs of the hippos*

Link: I've been in so many levels where jumping is essential, this'll be easy. *Jumps across them all*

Yami: *Jumps across* Simple.

Yugi: *Attempts to get across, but a hippo ducks underwater, causing him to fall overboard*

Link: This could take awhile…

*After a half hour*

Yugi: I'm finally here! *Wrings out hair*

Link: About time. *Puts away Gameboy SP* I beat the Elite Four three times, you took long.  
*They climb up to the tree house, and inside find more Gummi ship pieces*

Link: I'm no master at building Gummi ships, but I can put it together to last us until we get to Traverse Town.

Red: I don't like the sound of that.

*After three hours, Link is finally done… or so it seems*

Link: Argh! We're missing a piece! Let's go back to the jungle, it must be down there.

*They go down, and when they arrive at camp, see Clayton with a smoking rifle*

Jane: Oh my gosh! You're trying to kill the gorillas? You evil man!

Yugi: Well, of course he's evil. That mustache and cheesy grin give it away instantly.

Clayton: Can it, brat! I'll get all of you, yes, and your little dog too!

Red: I resent that.

*Clayton flees into the jungle*

Link: Might as well follow.

*They arrive in the bamboo thicket, where the leopard is back*

Tarzan: Sabor!

Yugi: So that's his name?

Sabor: Mrow! (Translation: I'll kill you all!)

Yami: Hey… I wonder if I can persuade him to become my vassal?

Tarzan: Ouyay illedkay ymay arentspay. I'llway illkay ouyay. (Translation: You killed my parents. I'll kill you.) *Stabs Sabor*

Sabor: MEEOOOOOOOOOOOOW! (Translation: THE PAIN!) *Dies*

Yami: Damn.

*They go farther, and see Clayton about to shoot a herd of gorillas*

Yugi: Uh oh… they're in trouble.

Red: *Turns to Tarzan* Aren't you going to save them?

Tarzan: Ewscray ethay orillasgay, atthay uygay ashay away ungay! (Translation: Screw the gorillas, that guy has a gun!)

Red: *Looks in Pig Latin translation book* Ah, good point.

Gorilla Leader, Kerchak: Why the heck are we cowering in front of this loser?

Random Gorilla: No idea.

Kerchak: CHARGE! *They all run at Clayton*

Clayton: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK! STAMPEDE!

Vash the Stampede: Someone call me? *Sees gorillas about to flatten Clayton* Oh. No reason to stay here.

Red: *Gets idea* Um… hey, that guy carrying the rifle has… doughnuts, yeah!

Vash: …Really? *Shoots Clayton and steals the doughnuts* Thanks guys! *Runs off*

Yami: _ Drat. I was hoping I could get those.

Yugi: Well, at least Clayton is dead.

Kerchak: Darn it. So much for slaughtering him. *The gorillas leave*

Link: Some gentle giants. -_-;

Clayton: *Gets up with a bloody arm* I'm still alive!

Red: How the heck did you live?

Clayton: It's magic! Or he just aimed badly. Probably the latter. _ *Suddenly floats in midair* Now I'm going to ride my giant invisible iguana of doom and kill you all!

Chameleon: I'm a chameleon, dumbass. And I'm a Heartless-a Stealth Sneak to be exact. I can blend in with the surroundings.

Clayton: Whatever. Kill them all!

Yami: *Takes out his Gunblade and sets Clayton on fire*

Clayton: YEOW! HOT!!!

*The fire spreads to Stealth Sneak, killing it. Clayton jumps off and runs around, trying to put out the fire, only to get flattened by Stealth Sneak's burning carcass*

Link: Well, that was easy.

Red: Let's keep looking for that Gummi piece now.

*They go into a waterfall cavern and after about an hour finally manage to make it to the top*

Yami: You're as weak as ever, Yugi.

Yugi: v_v Quiet you.

*They go into the main cavern*

Link: HOW did this Gummi piece get here?

Tarzan: Isthay isway ymay omehay. Iway ooktay itway erehay otay eatway aterlay-itway ookslay ikelay andycay. (Translation:This is my home. I took it here to eat later-it looks like candy.)

Everyone else: -_-;;;

Yugi: Whoa! My Keyblade is glowing! *Points it at rock wall*

*A keyhole becomes visible, and is sealed by a beam of light that comes from the Keyblade. Another Gummi piece falls out*

Link: I'm not even going to ask. *Picks up other piece*

To be continued…


End file.
